That first year was a complete mess.

 

boot camp

I still consider us the newbies…4+ years in.
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…but this weekend I was chatting with not one, not two, but three other girlfriends/wives that are in a very similar spot I was in this photo at graduation. Two reached out to me (see – I must have some experience & be approachable) and those two convos lead me to reach out to one more gf just to say hello.
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You guys. That first year was a complete mess.
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It went something like this…
…I quit my first big girl job.
…Got married.
…Moved across the country where I knew nobody.
…My new husband was gone/training often.
…The job hunt was draining.
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I hadn’t even lived there two months before I went back home for a two week “break”…
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For the first time as an adult, I felt like I had almost zero control over anything. I wasn’t contributing financially. I had no local friends. Job searching in an area with zero networking was exhausting.
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Living that way was NOT what I was used to.
I needed routine.
I craved just one area in my life that I could control.
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I made the decision that “one area” was going to be my health. (After all, I surely had time. Remember? no job. a couple acquaintances, but no friends. busy husband.) Where did I start, though?
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In high school, I was a three sport athlete. When college rolled around, I had no idea how to train because I was used to the drills and workouts my coaches made for me; I never had to put any thought into it before college. If I made it to the gym (that’s a big IF)…I sort of puttered around on whatever machines were open, never making progress.
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Right about the time I made this decision that with all my extra time I was going to lose my college flub, this girl I barely knew was posting on social media about these “online fitness groups” …I was confused about how I could get fit online, but intrigued nonetheless.
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Now, it makes so much sense.
Think about it: we’re always DOING LIFE on our phones (I mean, I’ve been to MULTIPLE weddings thanks to Tinder) …so checking in, tracking my progress, building a support system, completing daily tasks, and learning about health fits right into this 21st century lifestyle. I had all that in the palm of my hand, a professional trainer in my living room, and superfoods in my pantry.
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That was in 2013, and the system has only improved since then.
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NOW…you can stream over 40 fitness programs for LESS than I bought that first ONE when I needed it the most. (ask me how- it’s just a conversation for another time)
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During that 3 month program, I dropped 11 overall inches & 5% body fat, and totally reshaped my body….and that wasn’t even the goal. Obviously it was a super nice perk, but the REAL WIN was how I gained so much confidence in myself, felt drawn to a community that I knew genuinely cared for me, and learned about nutrition & how to cook for the first time in my life.
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I kinda forgot about that part of my story until I chatted with those 3 lovely ladies this weekend. It brought back a whole bunch of feelings I don’t exactly like to remember, yet also reminded me of the time life presented me with the opportunity to focus on myself, and ultimately changed the entire trajectory of my career (but that’s another story for another day).
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If you’re going through tough stuff…look for the opportunity in the situation to learn & grow🌱 It’s probably there, even if it takes you another year to realize it.

My world got ROCKED tonight.

My world got ROCKED tonight.

I’ve always viewed my independence as a fairly beneficial and generally positive trait.

For example…

…I can handle and take care of things on my own- Robert has specifically told me on multiple occasions he’s grateful for this because he can leave me for months at a time and never even have to wonder if bills get paid, it his child is being well cared for, if I use my best judgement when the dryer breaks/faucet leaks/dog needs meds/all the other crazy things that happen when the guys leave. Apparently that’s not true for other guys he knows.

…My independence kinda feeds into my introverted side- I tend to best “recharge” & fill my cup back up when I’m solo.

👆I still think those are okay things.

BUT GET THIS.

{If you’ve ever worked through a Beth Moore study, you know that lady is off her rocker in the best possible way & she says it like it is}

Tonight she told me this:

“Independence is a sign of immaturity” (as in: underdeveloped)

We can accomplish A LOT on our own. But UNIFIED, we can do that much more all while building maturity, knowledge, and expertise within the subject.

She, of course, is specifically speaking about our relationship with God and how much stronger our faith can be in a group setting.

But I instantly thought of quite a few ways in many different circles where I could easily develop relationships and/or leadership further by collaborating…tapping in…opening up…reaching out…listening.

In my marriage. At church. With my team. In my friend group. With other moms. Toward my business partners. Other wives from the command.

Dang, that sounds uncomfortable.
But I think it could be good for me, too.

Thanks, Beth. I needed you to show me this tonight.

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